Well its that time of year again where i post an update, i know its been a while but i have been away living life, not doing anything, but i have been alive, during my life, so therefore i've been living my life. god why do you question everything i do.

So updates are hard, even more so when your opinions are far to racists or sexist for a blog and its hard to pad out "Irish Women Cannot Dance but They Sound Hot" into more words, basic the title basically says it all. So instead of the last hour i went on YouTube and just ripped other peoples content and posted below. And you know what, it was freakin' easy compared to writting reviews about stuff or just generally talking to myself in a textual manner. Yeah. You know what i mean cracker.

So i will start off this new update with some of my favourite videos at the moment, you're gonna jizz in your pants at some of these you bloody bastard.

Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus - Plane Attack!?

I saw this and it made me laugh, then after some though i realised this almost certainly happened to that French plane over the Atlantic, so i'm kinda shitting myself about flying to Tenerife in July. I'm still gonna go, but i'm gonna make sure the pilot stays above Shark jumping distance, the pilot on this video clearly didn't and i personally wonder how he didn't crash sooner, and in fact the Shark it them a favour.

You Call That A Shot?

I think the majority of the videos that come out of BaratsAndBereta are pure genius but i like drinking large amounts of alcohol or high alcohol volume products, mix that with rophies and you have yourself a cocktail. I have a funny story about drinking actually so i will share that with you all. I went out to a small town called Burnley, some people may know it, i had some fun, it was a Friday and shots were £1 so get 4 down your neck in one bar you have yourself some fun, do the same in two more bars you have yourself a problem and you find yourself getting in a taxi and throwing up all down the side at 3am in the morning and then waking up in the morning and feeling like someone has either hit you in the face or done the unthinkable act of face rape which is a growing pandemic. That was a story, so done think you can give me 4 shots and i will be on my back letting you bum my face because everyone knows it takes Rohypnol to do that.

Paper Towels

I've said it before and i will say it again, the only thing better than an iPhone is a paper towel, and rohypnol. Look at these great scenarios when paper towels are useful.... You're sat at your desk and spill your drink You run down a street and it starts to rain You fall face first into a fish tank, not only is there fishy fish water all over, but there is your own blood mixed in. You accidently run three people over in your car because they stepped off the curb too early and you just couldn't stop. you just could stop. the car just didn't stop. i didn't know what to do. what was i to do. it didn't stopped and the sound of those bodies hit the underside of my car once as i drove over them and again as i reversed back down the street (dead end) was the worst thing ever. I didn't mean to hit them, they just stepped out. ....See, pretty useful huh. Now go buy some.

Man Gets Tazed, Mocks Cops, and Gets Away

Title says it all. The guy gets tazed for being a crazy wizard or something and he don't like those cracker bastards on top of him so he resists, duh, so he say "Dudes you know what, fuck this, i'm off home." so he gets up and runs.

Extreme Sticky Note Experiments

I love postit notes but i hate Sticky Notes. So during this video i'm imagine these are legit postits because i love the postal system and i love tits, so postits are genius. No cheap shit for me cracker. Plus add pretty colours and LSD and you have your self some crazy party.

Charlie Brooker on My Sweet 16

I had myself a Super Sweet 16 but MTV decided it was "Inappropriate" i believe this is the case because i spent the entire duration screaming and shouting saying "I Hate You I Hate You I Hate" and then i decided to revolk all of the invites and spent the evening dancing to myself to Human by The Killers. It was much more fun because i hate everyone and everything so to be given nothing by nobody was a huge frinking relief if you ask me. Plus the last thing i wanted was some fucking chavs and ginger people crashing my party because some douche on the corner decided to sell the tickets. I DON'T WANT GINGERS AND CHAVS AT MY PARTY SO DONE COME.

So i'm sure by this point you are thinking WFT or you're ROFL or i might even have pushed the right buttons for you to be LMAO which i know doesn't make sense but if you're reading into it and thinking "Wow you're a retard" then you should consider how you have just spent the last 5 minutes of your life, reading a "retards" online expression of opinion.

On a side note i have just broken my own record for mentioning Rohypnol the most number of times.

Keywords: youtube videos, youtube, best of, best of youtube, paper towels, funny, comedy, music, tv